第74章

    “I had not been long ifordshire,before I saw,inmon with others,that Bingley preferred your elder sister to any other young woman in the try.But it was not till the evening of the da herfield that I had any apprehension of his feeling a serious attat. I had often seen him in love before.At that ball,while I had the honour of dang with you,I was first made acquainted,by Sir William Lucas's idental information, that Bingley's attentions to your sister had given rise to a general expectation of their marriage.He spoke of it as a certai, of which the time alone could be undecided.From that moment I observed my friend's behaviour attentively; and I could then perceive that his partiality for Miss Be was beyond what I had ever witnessed in him.Your sister I also watched. Her look and manners were open, cheerful, and engaging as ever, but without any symptom of peculiar regard, and I remained vinced from the evening's scrutiny,that though she received his attentions with pleasure, she did not ihem by any participation of se.If you have not been mistaken here,I must have been in error.Your superior knowledge of your sister must make thetter probable.If it be so,if I have been misled by such error to inflict pain on her, your rese has not been unreasonable. But I shall not scruple to assert, that the serenity of your sister's tenand air was such as might have given the most acute observer a vi that, however amiable her temper,her heart was not likely to be easily touched. That I was desirous of believing her indifferent is certain—but I will veo say that my iigation and decisions are not usually influenced by my hopes or fears. I did not believe her to be indifferent because I wished it; I believed it on impartial vi,as truly as I wished it in reason.My objes to the marriage were not merely those which Ist night aowledged to have the utmost required force of passion to put aside,in my own case;the want of e could not be so great an evil to my friend as to me.But there were other causes nance;causes which,though still existing,aing to an equal degree in both instances, I had myself endeavoured to et, because they were not immediately before me.These causes must be stated, though briefly.The situation of your mother's family, though objeable, was nothing inparison to that total want of propriety so frequently,so almost uniformly betrayed by herself, by your three younger sisters, and asionally even by your father. Pardo paio offend you. But amidst your  for the defects of your  rtions, and your displeasure at this representation of them, let it give you stion to sider that,to have ducted yourselves so as to avoid any share of the like sure,is praise no less generally bestowed on you and your elder sister, than it is honourable to the sense and disposition of both. I will only say farther that from assed that evening, my opinion of all parties was firmed, and every i heightened which could have led me before, to preserve my friend from what I esteemed a most unhappy e. He left herfield for London, on the day following,as you,I am certain,remember,with the design of soourning.

    “The part which I acted is now to be exined. His sisters' uneasiness had been equally excited with my own;our ce of feeling was soon discovered, and, alike sensible that no time was to be lost iag their brother,we shortly resolved on joining him directly in London.We ly went—and there I readily engaged in the office of pointing out to my friend the certain evils of such a choice. I described, and enforced them early.But,however this remonstrance might have staggered or dyed his determination, I do not suppose that it would ultimately have prevehe marriage,had it not been seded by the assurahat I hesitated not in giving, of your sister's indifference.He had before believed her to return his affe with sincere, if not with equal regard. But Bingley has great natural modesty, with a stronger dependeny judgement than on his own.To vince him,therefore,that he had deceived himself, was no very difficult point.To persuade him against returning into Hertfordshire, when that vi had been given,was scarcely the work of a moment.I e myself for having dohus much.There is but one part of my du the whole affair on which I do not reflect with satisfa;it is that I desded to adopt the measures of art so far as to ceal from him your sister's being in town. I k myself, as it was known to Miss Bingley; but her brother is eve ignorant of it.That they might have met without ill sequence is perhaps probable;but his regard did not appear to me enough extinguished for him to see her without some danger.Perhaps this cealment,this disguise was beh me;it is done,however, and it was done for the best.On this subject I have nothing more to say,no other apology to offer.If I have wounded your sister's feelings,it was unknowingly done and though the motives which governed me may to you very naturally appear insuffit,I have not yet learnt to n them.

    “With respect to that other,more weighty usation,of having injured Mr.Wickham, I  only refute it byying before you the whole of his e with my family. Of what he has particrly used me I am ignorant;but of the truth of what I shall rte,I  summon more thaness of undoubted veracity.快眼看书小说阅读_www.bookcu.com